The Entertation Index: November 10

Ah, Uwe. You consistently, um, exceed our expectations.

Boll, Uwe – The much-maligned film director has released a trailer for his upcoming “comedy” Blubberella, which features a larger-than-life half-human, half-vampire superheroine who battles stuff.  Boll will undoubtedly treat this movie with the same subtlety, nuance, tact, and compassion toward his main character as he showed in the Bloodrayne series.  See you at the cineplex!

Link: Blubberella Coming Soon (EW)

Gaga, Lady – Several headlines trumpeted that Lady Gaga “dominated” Sunday’s MTV Europe Awards.  Given her outfits there and elsewhere, “dominate” is probably the perfect term.

Link: Gaga Dominates (Washington Post)

Gyllenhaal, Jake – The Donnie Darko actor has avoided questions about whether he is dating Taylor Swift, and she has done the same in recent interviews.  That hasn’t stopped People from polling what their combined name should be.  Since 20-year-old Swift is still barely legal, JakeTayl appropriately did not appear as an option.

Link: Gyllenhaal-Taylor? (People)

Loko, Four – NYC chef Eddie Huang has cancelled plans for all-you-can-drink Four Loko, a sweet, caffeinated alcoholic beverage that has caused binge-drinking blackouts among younger drinkers, after learning that such a promotion violates state law.  Huang should instead consider banning anyone who would get blackout drunk on sugary-ass booze called Four Loko.

Link: Four Loko Party Cancelled (NY Daily News)

Richards, Keith – The unkillable 67-year-old Stones guitarist wrote his autobiography in part to change people’s perceptions of him: “You get stuck with an image, part of the whole reason for the book was to dispel some of that junkie, dopey, rock and roll… it is not like that at all.”  Richards is expected to spend the next 150 years of his life crafting a new public persona.

Link: Richards’ Image (Sky)

Situation, The – Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino gives Men’s Fitness rules for staying fit, one of which involves avoiding junk calories, including many condiments.  Fellow Jersey Shore castmate Pauly D then said emphatically that he never uses condiments because he “doesn’t like they way they feel.”

Link: Sorrentino’s Fitness Rules (Men’s Fitness)