The Entertation Index: December 1

All my viscounts in the house say "Oh Oh!"

Dogg, Snoop – The jack-of-all-trades rapper will perform his new single “Wet” at the bachelor party for England’s Prince William, who will marry Kate Middleton next April.  A spokesperson for the prince said that this blow-out will officially be called “The Crunkest of All Palace Jizzams,” and will feature “the finest booties in all the Kingdom, rocking everywhere.”

Link: Snoop @ Royal Bachelor Party (CoS)

Kardashians, The – The reality show sister trio have asked that their images and names not be affiliated with a prepaid debit card they initially championed.  The Kardashian Card has drawn fire for charging high fees for its use, and limiting purchases to those that go toward being fabulous.

Link: Kardashians Want Out (Huffington Post)

Lohan, Lindsay – The rehabbing starlet returned to Twitter this weekend, publishing a quote from Vanilla Sky that she found inspirational.  Then, like the rest of the movie, she mumbled something self-indulgent and incoherent.

Link: Lohan Tweets (PopSugar)

Roberts, Julia – The Eat Pray Love actress raked in $1.5 million for a minute-long Lavazza Italian coffee endorsement in which she didn’t even have to speak.  This is known as “making it the easy way.”  Tara Reid, on the other hand, makes $45 “the hard way,” which involves not speaking, but definitely opening the mouth.

Link: Roberts’ Payday (Gawker)

Sweetin, Jodie – The former Full House star has introduced her new daughter, Beatrix Carlin, to the public.  Sweetin has always been a fan of raunchy and incisive social commentary.  About rabbits.

Link: Sweetin’s New Baby (People)

Trek, Star – Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, screenwriters of the immensely popular 2009 Star Trek reboot, are watching episodes of the original TV series to find “inspiration.”  This is industry speak for “ripping shit off.”

Link: What’s the Next Star Trek About? (EW)