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Will Spoonachos End Party Dip Tragedies Forever?

December 3, 2010

This has happened to you: you’re at a party with a bunch of people you don’t know.  You just tasted a strange and delicious chili-cheese dip just days after you had convinced yourself you’d tried them all.  You go in for another gob with an off-brand chip provided by a cheap host.  The chip breaks, looking like a splintered ship’s mast barely poking above the deadly, cheesy waves.  You go in with another chip, slicing slowly and delicately through the dip at an angle toward the stranded snack, trying to come in underneath to lift it to safety.  But that chip breaks too, and the next one, and the next one.  The people behind you are huffy, growing impatient, oblivious to the tragedy that is unfolding until they see the graveyard of soggy, shattered chips that five minutes ago was their favorite party dish.

With Fritos Scoops and Tostitos Scoops, modern snack engineering has allowed the casual nosher to hold more and more food on a single chip, but never considered how to load the salsa and dip in the first place.  As with all technologies, the results have been mixed: heavier and heavier payloads, but also mass chip graves.  Enter Designer and Innovator Denis Bostandzic, who must have known such tragedy.  He understands that chips do not have to suffer that fate, that they can deliver thick, delicious chili-cheese dip or refreshing homemade salsa into mouths with pride and dignity.  His solution?  The Spoonacho, a (slightly unfortunately) named concept-chip that combines the work ethic of a Frito Scoop with the holdability of a spoon.

Some of you will say, “Why would you need this?  Spoon the dip onto your plate so you don’t break your chips or get your fingers in the food in the first place!”  Well fuck you, Howard Hughes.  You’re eating five-hour-old uncovered communal food that’s been fingered more than a high school cheerleader hammered on Four Loko, and you’ve accidentally been drinking out of someone else’s red Solo cup because you refused to put your name on it in black Sharpie because that’s “stupid,” and in two hours you’ll be the weird person left who barely knows the hosts and barfs red wine on their white microfiber couch.  Who’s gross now, fucker?

What you don’t understand is that the Spoonacho completely solves this problem.  Yes, it’s still only an idea, and there are obstacles.  How thick should the stem be to withstand the fluid resistance when moving through thicker dips?  How will the manufacturing costs be lowered?  How will they be transported without compromising structural integrity?  If half the chips in the bag have their necks snapped off, you’re left with essentially a bunch of Fritos Scoops and broken Hot Fries without the hot.  Then we’re back at square one.

I have faith, though.  If we can put a man on the moon and create machines that see through people’s clothes, we can get Spoonachos—strong, proud, and unbroken—to grateful consumers.  Never leave a chip behind.  If Denis Bostandzic’s gets his way, you won’t have to.

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