TBTS TalkRoach™: Gossip That Refuses to Die (Week Ending December 18, 2010)

(The Brown Tweed Society’s TalkRoach™ highlights mundane, ridiculous, and outright unbelievable pop culture stories that should have fizzled after a day—or should never have been news in the first place—but have somehow survived.)

The media will give this more coverage than they gave the new tax bill.

1.  Kim Kardashian Feels She Must Explain Minor Weight Gain:

As much as Kim Kardashian irks me because she seems bent on defining herself as nothing but a pretty face and body who will do anything to stay on camera, this kind of crap irks me more.  She gained, by her estimate, ten pounds over a few weeks in New York, where if you’re rich (she is), you can have any kind of food you could possibly want within hours or perhaps minutes.  Consequently, she had to deal with insulting “news” stories and frigging pregnancy rumors.  One could make the argument that Kim brings such “criticism” upon herself by throwing her lot in with the looks-obsessed, constantly scrutinized, magazine-cover and tabloid TV industry, but the issue is systemic and injurious, especially to young women.  Kim laughs it off, but she lets everyone know that she hit the gym and lost the weight with a quickness.  Men hardly ever have to put up with this type of commentary upon gaining 10-20 pounds.  Women, on the other hand, must put up with it constantly.  Sorry ladies, but you just can’t win.

2. Kevin Spacey Won’t Say Whether or Not He’s Gay:

As his Daily Beast interview shows, Spacey has been subject to rumors about his sexuality for a long time, and has taken great care to protect his privacy in the matter.  More power to him, because it doesn’t matter at all.  Well, I guess it does matter, but it shouldn’t.  I wouldn’t think he was any less awesome in The Usual Suspects were he gay, nor any creepier in Se7en were he straight.  He’s a fantastic actor, which is the only way I know him, so I could not care less whether or not he likes dudes, chicks, both, or neither.  Similar to #1 above, straight folks don’t have to put up with those types of questions.  Very few interviews ask actors about their sexual proclivities unless a some specific incident is being discussed.  I can’t ever remember a writer or newscaster asking an actor whether or not he was attracted to Latinas, or tall ladies, or amputees, or whatever, because it was “rumored” that he did.  So talk or don’t talk, Kevin.  We’ll love you just the same.

3.  Brangelina Won’t Have a “Traditional” Christmas:

Hollywood’s favorite, or at least most commented-upon couple, are “going to travel with the kids and go to a random part of the world” rather than stick around at the house.  Several stories have had a snarky, envious “well I guess a stay-at-home Christmas just isn’t good enough for Brangelina and the brood!”  It’s true, folks: extremely rich people can do that stuff.  In fact, they can do lots and lots and lots of things that you and I can’t.  And because they can, they will.  Though I’m not wealthy, I have had the good fortune to travel on Christmas, and it was a blast.  I’ve also had a blast staying at home with family for the holidays.  The important part, if you were to read any of these stories (and I couldn’t blame you if you didn’t), is that they’re all going to be together, which is probably the only thing they really care about.  That and presents.  Rich people can buy their kids way better presents than a Snuzzle Me Scratch-Mo.

4. Tax Bill Passes:

It’s like a trillion dollars or something, about what Brad and Angelina make per year.

Thanks, entertainment media, for giving more women body image issues over a few cones of ice cream!