The Entertation Index: December 23

Carol, A Christmas — A Lincoln Park theater is currently staging a version of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol written and performed entirely in Star Trek’s Klingon language. The play features a lead character of SQuja’ (Klingon for Scrooge) as visited by three ghosts during the Klingon Feast of the Long Night. I don’t want to ruin anything, but my favorite part is when the Ghost of Feast of the Long Night Future shows SQuja’ a visage of himself going to bed alone again.

Link: BaQa’ — or is it Humbug? Klingons Attack a Holiday Classic (Wall Street Journal)

Gaga, Lady — After a fan tossed a Santa Claus doll on-stage during a recent concert at London’s O2 arena, Lady Gaga took the doll and bit its head off, then tossed it to the ground and stomped it with her heel as she announced “I hate the holidays. I’m alone and miserable you fucking stuffed little toy.” I feel so bad for her. I mean, she never would have done that if she’d known it would end on the news, right? Right?

Link: Gaga Bites Santa’s Head Off (Canoe)

Idol, American — Rumors abound that Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler is proving a great success with the American Idol gang, as a source recently told The National Enquirer that “Steven’s the new Paula Abdul, and producers couldn’t be happier.” It should be noted that as happy as Idol producers are, their excitement pales in comparison to the happiness which hearing “Steven’s the new Paula Abdul” evokes in Hollywood pharmacists everywhere.

Link:  Steven Tyler is the New Paula Abdul (Showbiz Spy)

Kim, Lil — Rapper Lil’ Kim continues to feud with current star Nicki Minaj, saying that Minaj is a “contradicting creature” and warned that she shouldn’t be picking fights in the music industry after claiming Minaj’s song “Roman’s Revenge” was a thinly veiled attack on Kim. Then the two reportedly started up a fight club together which caught on and sprouted branches all over the country until they realized they were the same person!

Link: Lil Kim Slams Hip-Hop Rival Nicki Minaj (Digital Spy)

At what price success, George? At...what...price?

Lucas, George — During a recent Hollywood Reporter roundtable chat, director David O. Russell quoted Star Wars’ George Lucas as once telling him “If you want me to make you feel something, that’s not hard. I’ll choke a kitten in front of you, and you’ll feel something.” I don’t know about you guys, but this is really tainting the fact that I felt something when Yoda died, because now I know what George Lucas was doing just off-camera.

Link: George Lucas Will Choke a Cat in Front of You, and Other Revelations from the Hollywood Reporter’s Roundtable (NY Mag)

Minaj, Nicki — See: Kim, Lil

Music, Christmas — Each year around this time Christmas music starts popping up everywhere, and seeing as how tomorrow’s Christmas Eve, I thought I’d pass along my favorite as well. You can keep your “Holly Jolly Christmases” and “Frosty the Snowmen,” I’ll take Run DMC’s “Christmas in Hollis” every single year. So enjoy — and happy holidays, everyone.

Link: Run DMC — Christmas in Hollis (Spike)