The Entertation Index: January 13

Cage, Nicolas — According to a piece in last weekend’s New York Times, avant garde Green Hornet director Michel Gondry explained that actor Nicolas Cage, who was to play the film’s original villain, had to be cut because “for reasons known only to him, he insisted on using a Jamaican accent.” I know what you’re thinking, and we have the same the same question: is Nicolas Cage trying to be this awesome?

Link: Float Like a Franchise, Sting Like a… (NY Times)

Cyrus, Miley — Comedian Mike O’Malley (Yes Dear, Glee) and Jeremy Piven (Entourage) have reportedly been cast in Miley Cyrus’ new movie So Undercover, which features the actress/musician as a teenage private investigator asked to go undercover in a sorority. No word yet on whether it will be Mike O’Malley or Jeremy Piven who will star as “adult who ends up covered in paint/pantsed/in a convertible filled with fish/chased off by dogs/chased off by an amorous old woman/captured being mean on a secret tape recorder” in the final reel.

Link: Jeremy Piven Joins Miley Cyrus Movie (NY Mag)

James, Kevin — Following the successes of Oscar nominated films like Paul Blart: Mall Cop and Grown-Ups, Kevin James has signed on to appear in a PG-rated Sony comedy which features James as a high school teacher who “moonlights as a mixed martial arts fighter to raise money for his school’s music program.” Doesn’t Kevin James know that many complex MMA moves can lead to long-lasting, career-ending injuries and….actually, you know what? Never mind. Please proceed.

Link: Kevin James Reteaming With “The Zookeeper” Director for MMA Comedy (Cinemablend)

Ryder, Winona — The Heathers and Beetlejuice star admitted to Jimmy Fallon earlier this week that the reason she’s afraid of the internet is that she fears, as she puts it, that “I’ll be googling and trying to find out what movie’s playing at what theater and suddenly I’ll be a member of Al Qaeda.” If Winona Ryder knows something the rest of us don’t, Al Qaeda’s recruitment techniques are really going well. And I’m going to check my phone for wiretaps.

Link: Winona Ryder Explains Why She’s Afraid of the Internet (Gawker)

Say, this reminds me -- haven't you been trying to sell a novel for about three years now?

Snooki — Nicole “Snooki” Pollizzi’s first novel A Shore Thing was released on Tuesday, and the Jersey Shore star joined Today Show anchor Matt Lauer on Tuesday morning to discuss her writing. When asked about the book, Snooki told Lauer that “it’s pretty much like the show, but you’re reading it,” that it took her three months to write, and that one of the toughest moments of her creative process came on the day she ran out of green crayon.

Link: Snooki Admits She Had Help Writing “A Shore Thing” (Perez Hilton)

Theory, Big Bang — The Emmy Award-winning CBS breakout sitcom The Big Bang Theory has, according to Entertainment Weekly, been renewed for another three years — extending its run into the 2013-14 season. You know, I swear to God sometimes it’s like Hollywood doesn’t even care about the Mayan calendar and 2012’s impending apocalypse.

Link: “Big Bang Theory” Scores a Three-Year Pickup (EW)