The Entertation Index: March 14

A Cici's Pizza in Arkansas after Lindsay Lohan heard that they gave "free Coke refills."

Lohan, Lindsay – With a tsunami warning issued for Southern California, the Mean Girls actress evacuated her Venice home and moved to Beverly Hills.  This is seen as a destabilizing incident for Lohan, who had only recently vacated sanity and respectability.

Link: Lohan Evacuates (TMZ)

Lowe, Rob – The Wayne’s World actor will reportedly not replace Charlie Sheen on Two and A Half Men.  The show’s creator felt that Lowe simply did not have that magical mix of world-beating narcissism and drug-induced batshit-craziness.

Link: Lowe Not Bailing (Hollywood Reporter)

McGowan, Rose – The Planet Terror actress has been granted a restraining order against Louis S. Santo III, who has threatened her and repeatedly tried to contact her.  One would think Santo would know better than to screw with a woman who once had a machine gun with a grenade launcher for a leg.

Link: McGowan Wins Restraining Order (Huffington Post)

Palin, Sarah – Julianne Moore will portray the ex-governor of Alaska in HBO film Game Change, about the 2008 presidential election.  Palin isn’t terribly pleased, saying, “I’ll just grit my teeth and bear whatever comes what may with that movie,” which is code for, “I’ll get pissed about a film that will probably make me look terrible, but realize I can’t do a goddamned thing about it.”

Link: We Want Moore-Palin (Hollywood Gossip)

Timberbiel, Justica – The super-sexy Hollywood pairing of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel has ended mutually and amicably, says People.  Apparently, the two “realized they wanted different things in life.”  Those “things” are rumored to be hotter significant others, which will be physically impossible for both of them.

Link: JT, JB Split (People)

Wentz, Pete – The Fall Out Boy bassist was apparently shocked to find that soon-to-be ex-wife Ashlee Simpson has found solace in the arms of good friend Craig Owens.  Wentz had even called Owens, lead singer of the super-creatively named Destroy Rebuild Until God Shows, his “favorite new artist of 2010.”  To avenge the betrayal, Wentz will reportedly take to the air and declare that he was just kidding, and that Owens is totally NOT his favorite new artist of 2010.

Link: Fall Out Boy Man’s Relationship Fallout (NY Daily News)