The Entertation Index: April 4

Brown, Mille – If you thought that a lot of abstract art was just barfed on a canvas, you may have been correct.  WARNING: may gross you out.

Link: Art Comes from Within (Gawker)

Gosselin, Jon – The almost-forgotten Jon & Kate Plus Eight star is tweeting ads for Quiznos, apparently getting paid about $500 for such shills.  Gosselin makes far more money getting paid by companies not to tweet their products.

Link: Gosselin’s New Job (RumorFix)

Lohan, Lindsay – The Mean Girls actress was photographed falling to the ground outside a bar last week, but insisted, “I was NOT drinking, nor do I drink!” She followed with, “Just because I’m out doesn’t mean I’m drinking.”  To translate, this mean that Lohan was out, drinking.

Link: Lindsay Lands Hard (TMZ)

If this person has ever saved you from OD'ing, you've got problems.

Love, Courtney – The volatile rocker hit back at Kelly Osbourne for making jokes about Love’s drug use.  “”This girl I know, Kelly Osbourne, I’ve saved her life twice,” said Love.  “I’ve done CPR, I’ve put things in her boobs.”  Um, Courtney, lots of people have probably done that.

Link: Love’s Reaction (PopEater)

Snooki – Jersey Shore star Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi was paid $32,000 to speak at Rutgers University, which is $2000 more than Nobel winner Toni Morrison will receive to speak there in May.  Before you express your disdain, ask yourself if Morrison would ever have written the following: “Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky.”  I think not.  Another two grand for Snooki, please.

Link: Snooki’s Payday (People)

Wilkinson, Kendra – The former Girl Next Door is upset that she hasn’t yet gotten a save-the-date for octogenarian ex-boyfriend Hugh Hefner’s upcoming wedding.  It is rumored that Hef’s fiancée, Crystal Harris, is not inviting any of his ex-girlfriends, which should trim the guest list by 50,000.

Link: Wilkinson Ticked (EOnline)