TBTS TalkRoach™: Gossip That Refuses to Die (Week Ending May 7, 2011)

(The Brown Tweed Society’s TalkRoach™ highlights mundane, ridiculous, and outright unbelievable pop culture stories that should have fizzled after a day—or should never have been news in the first place—but have somehow survived.)

1.  The Middleton Family Isn’t Perfect:

Did you hear that Prince William, a member of the Royal family, married “commoner” Kate Middleton recently?  Understandable if you didn’t, since it wasn’t reported by literally every media outlet and website on the planet.  But did you know that Kate once wore a see-through dress?  Or that her brother took pictures of his butt when he was older than 6?  Or that her sister Pippa once danced shirtless with a half-naked man?  Scandalous!  And who knows what other moderately salacious details will emerge about the Middletons now that the press has deemed it OK to dig into their pasts because one of their clan married into royalty?  I hope that William knows just what kind of family he’s marrying into; that is, one that appears to be just as “colorful” as every other family, including the Royals.

Do you want to ask her a question? Neither do we!

2.  Nicollette Sheridan Interview:

Huffington Post is collecting questions to ask Nicollette Sheridan, who apparently still acts in television and moving pictures.  We’re collecting questions from you to submit to Huffington Post to submit Nicollette Sheridan.  However, I can tell you that the winner will be, “Why on Earth would we want to submit questions to Nicollette Sheridan?”

3.  Rebecca Black Covered on Glee:

So there’s this song on the internets called “Friday” by a young woman named Rebecca Black that people either love or hate or ignore (both the song and the person) because it’s a silly song and that girl’s just trying to get famous for it and totally doesn’t deserve it—just like a whole lot of other people who are famous.  Well, just like everything else that’s popular and topical, Glee will feature it next week.  Congrats.  We’ll wait for the next YouTube sensation to come along so that Glee can redo it and fill five minutes of airtime.

4.  Major World Developments:

Osama bin Laden and Jacob Lusk were eliminated this week.

Thanks, entertainment media, for giving the Middletons way more scrutiny than, say, government and corporate corruption!