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The Entertation Index: July 28

July 28, 2011

Don't worry: science says it's okay for you to cry.

Champ, The — According to a story in Smithsonian Magazine, scientists have developed a series of criteria determining what elicits the emotion of sadness in film, their studies have concluded that the official “saddest scene in movie history” is a scene in the 1979 movie The Champ in which Jon Voight dies in front of his nine year-old son (a young Ricky Schroeder). And here, all this time, I thought the saddest scene in movie history was the last scene of Big Momma’s House 2, which made it clear there would be a Big Momma’s House 3.

Link:  The Saddest Movie in the World (Smithsonian)

Franco, James — After a stint as a performance artist, an Oscar host and countless other roles, actor and jack of all trades James Franco has decided to return to the afternoon soap opera General Hospital to reprise a character he first played in 2009. While soap fans are happy to hear the news, it’s fairly obvious to everyone else that he’s just going to need a place to lie low after Rise of the Planet of the Apes tanks.

Link: Franco Returns (Again) to “General Hospital” (The Clicker)

Kaufman, Charlie — Here’s your no-joke, great news of the day: Charlie Kaufman, the esoteric screenwriter of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Adaptation and Being John Malkovich, has lined up a cast for his mysterious new movie that includes Nicolas Cage, Steve Carell and Jack Black. And all we know about it is that it’s supposedly “a musical about a director’s war with the showbiz blogger who regularly insults him.” I don’t know about you guys, but that sounds pretty damn awesome to me.

Link: Nicolas Cage, Jack Black and Steve Carell Attached to Charlie Kaufman’s Next Movie (The AV Club)

Lopez, George — The TBS talk show personality went on CNN’s Piers Morgan Tonight recently to announce that if Sarah Palin becomes President in the next US election, he will in fact leave the country. Noble move, George, standing behind your politics — but you picked an easy one. I can play this game too: If Dracula becomes President in the next US election, I’ll leave the country. See? Easy. Looks like we’re keeping George Lopez, everyone!

Link: George Lopez Will Move to Canada if Sarah Palin Becomes President (Starpulse)

Ministry, The — The website ShortList has rounded up a trailer for the upcoming Afghani version of The Office — it’s called The Ministry, and it focuses around garbage instead of paper. It’s also full of those trademark Office awkward moments. Like the time Phyllis fell down and everyone could see her ankles.

Link: The Afghanistan Office (ShortList)

Twins, Olsen — The corporate juggernaut Olsen Twins are set to premiere their new line of high-end handbags under the Barney’s name at a New York boutique, with one piece — a crocodile skin backpack — retailing at a whopping $39,000. So if you’ve been racking your brain for years to find a legitimate reason why you wish the Olsen Twins would be eaten by crocodiles, there you go.

Link: Ashley Olsen Steps Out with $39k Croc Backpack from The Row Handbag Line at Barneys (Daily Mail)

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