The Entertation Index: August 18

For those about to ferment, we salute you.

AC/DC — The classic rockers debut their new line of Australian wines today, featuring “Highway to Hell” Cabernet Sauvignon, “Hells Bells” Sauvignon Blanc and “You Shook Me All Night Long” Moscato. So, in case you were wondering, now you know what to serve when you’re having sweaty, disgusting sex on the ground behind a portable toilet at an outdoor concert.

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Link: AC/DC to Launch Their Own Booze (The Sun)

Depardieu, Gerard — Reports from a recent flight from Paris to Dublin reveal acclaimed actor Gerard Depardieu was “visibly inebriated” when he decided he needed to use the plane’s restroom. When a flight attendant informed him he’d have to wait until takeoff, Depardieu unbuckled his seatbelt and “urinated on the floor of the cabin.” In Depardieu’s defense, however, he is French.

Link: French Star Depardieu Relieves Himself in Plane Cabin (The Local)

Hewitt, Jennifer Love — The Ghost Whisperer was hurt by recent criticisms on the internet denigrating the actress’ new hairstyle, taking to Twitter with a cutesy-forlorn and emoticon-heavy tweet of “People who are not in favor of my haircut hurt my tweelings! :(“ — but let’s put a positive spin on this, JLH! How about “Thanks, everyone, for not staring at my boobs for two seconds!” See? Silver linings, silver linings.

Link: Jennifer Love Hewitt on Haircut Contempt – Hurt Tweelings! (The Hollywood Gossip)

Mellencamp, John — Tuesday saw the finalization of the divorce of rocker John Mellencamp from model Elaine Irwin after many years of marriage. She’ll keep the Pink House but, as as dictated by the courts, the walls will have to come tumbling down. The singer will remain John Mellencamp, while sources close to the couple speculate that Irwin will now become Cougar.

Link: Rocker Mellencamp’s Divorce from Model Irwin Final (Forbes)

Reynolds, Burt — The celebrated, moustachioed actor is allegedly close to being ousted from his Florida home after a failure to make mortgage payments may result in a foreclosure on the house. Burt, I know you’re thinking it, so I’ll just come out and say it: we’d all be totally cool with a Smokey and the Bandit 4. I’ll make a call to Sally Field right now.

Link: Burt Reynolds Faces Being Thrown Out of Home (Telegraph)

White, Todd — Artist Todd White, who was once a lead animator for the children’s juggernaut TV show Spongebob Squarepants, has been sued by an art gallery owner who claim that the artist hired men to attack and imprison her as they stole roughly $1 million in White’s artwork and some important documents from her gallery. A secondary lawsuit against White has also been filed by restauranteur crustacean Mr. Eugene Krabs, whom White had hoped to frame for the crimes by banking on an established public perception of Krabs’ ambitious nature.

Link: Former SpongeBob Artist Sued for Allegedly Arranging Attack on His Art Dealer (NY Times)