The Entertation Index: September 19

Anthony, Casey – The woman at the center of a hugely-hyped court case has been ordered to pay Florida almost $100,000 to defray the costs of the search for her daughter, who was later found dead.  Anthony probably got huge odds and made 10 times that much betting that she would get acquitted.

Link: Anthony Ordered to Pay (People)

Gordon-Levitt, Joseph – The Inception star will appear in a 2012 film about a bike messenger who gets caught up in events he hadn’t anticipated.  Come on, Hollywood: if you wanted to remake Quicksilver, you could have at least titled it something that didn’t sound like a shitty energy drink.

Link: JGL’s New Flick (BuzzSugar)

Lautner, Taylor – The werewolf from Twilight is going to be in Abduction, about a kid who’s really a bad-ass but doesn’t know it, and has all kinds of people after him.  OK, so now Hollywood is remaking The Bourne Identity into something teenage girls will watch.  Hey, producers, I’ve got this great idea for a movie: an evil nation/corporation invades a peaceful, nature-loving society, but one of the baddies “goes native” and helps the “noble savages” defend against the desecration of their land/planet/culture/religion.  Now gimme a million dollars.

Link: TL’s New Flick (THR)

New York, Real Housewives Of – Reports indicate that Jill Zarin, Alex McCord and Kelly Bensimon have been removed from the Bravo show’s fulltime cast, and will have to go back to doing whatever it was they did before becoming reality TV “stars,” if anything.  That means RHONY veterans LuAnn de Lesseps, Ramona Singer and Sonja Morgan will have to double the whiny, self-absorbed, entitled pretention to keep the show going.  Good luck, ladies.  Nothing depends on it.

Link: RHONY Drama (Huffington Post)

Sheen, Charlie – The former Two and a Half Men actor admitted on Jay Leno’s show that he is not angry at the show’s network or producers: “I would have fired my ass too.”  This new point of view is also known as “the entire rest of the world.”

Link: Sheen’s New View (EW)

Absorbs punches!

SquarePants, SpongeBob – This amateur video catches kids’ favorite invertebrate holding his own against two angry ladies.  Let this be a lesson to all haters: don’t fuck with the Bikini Bottom Brawler, the Poriferan Pugilist, the Absorptive Annihilator, unless you want to get served.

Link: SBSP Steps to Some Fools (TMZ)