The Entertation Index: November 28

How can this be replaced?

Bale, Christian – The newest and bestest Batman says he’s done playing the Caped Crusader after the third installment, The Dark Knight Rises.  Director Christopher Nolan will somehow have to find another actor willing to hide behind half a mask and speak like he’s gargled hot gravel for most of the movie.

Link: Bale Done As Batman (Us)

Cage, Nicolas – For some reason that will probably be lost to history, a picture of Cage and Holly Hunter holding Nathan Junior from Raising Arizona appears on a Serbian 8th grade biology textbook.  This supports my hypothesis that Raising Arizona is a perfect movie, beloved by everyone, and should be included in capsules blasted into space intended for extraterrestrials.

Link: Cage, Hunter Teaching Science in Serbia (Huffington Post)

Cher – The entertainment queen got into a twitter spat with rapper Nicki Minaj’s boyfriend over “Did It On ‘Em” lyrics that a Cher fan thought were critical of the singer.  If you read the progression of tweets, one thing jumps out: it’s hard not to sound like an whiny middle-schooler when you’re limited to 140 characters and most of them are #s, @s, and RTs.

Link: Cher Vs. Minaj BF, OMG! (Media Take Out)

Gaga, Lady – I don’t know who thought to give Lady Gaga a Thanksgiving Special, but the 90-minute, self-directed show drew an impressive 5.5 million viewers.  Better yet, the food appeared on the audience’s table and not Gaga’s body.  We were worried what she might do stuffing and cranberry sauce.

Link: Gaga on Turkey Day (PopCrush)

Lohan, Lindsay – The Mean Girls actress is crushing her court-mandated community service requirements at breakneck pace.  She has already completed 10 of 12 shifts at the county morgue, and she apparently is “polite, hard-working and never complains about the work.”  When asked why, Lohan supposedly replied that even though her current wards are dead, they’re still more pleasant to work with than Hollywood producers.

Link: Lohan, Working Stiff (TMZ)

Kardashians, The – E! has said that, contrary to popular belief, there never was a Kardashian Christmas special in the works, so the backlash against it was pretty much useless.  However, it should be noted that with a canceled Kardashian Christmas or one that never existed, everybody wins.

Link: No Kardashian Christmas (THR)