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2011: The Year in Review

December 29, 2011

TV show too few people are watching: Portlandia

TV show too many people are watching: The X-Factor

Buried by the Studios: Conan the Barbarian

Exhumed by the Studios: Footloose

What My Dad Says When He’s Canceled by CBS: “$#*!”

Best SNL Host in the past five years: Melissa McCarthy

Are You Ready for Some Football?  Sunday Night Football

Are You Ready for Some Anti-Semitism? Hank Williams, Jr.

The 99%: People who loved The Muppets.

The 1%: People who loved The Smurfs.

Will Somebody Please Occupy: Garry Marshall’s typewriter?

Best Horror Film (1st half): Insidious

Best Comedy Film (2nd half): Insidious

Movies with Verbs as Titles: Hop, Drive, Puncture, Take Shelter, Win Win, Sucker Punch, Scream 4

‘Found-footage” Horror Movie and They Might Be Giants Album: Apollo 18

Sarah Jessica Parker Comedy and Thing Nobody is Saying About Her: I Don’t Know How She Does It

Best Movie for People Who Know Baseball: Moneyball

Best Movie for People Who Know Zookeeping: Zookeeper

“You, Be Endearing, and You, Do That Laughing Thing You Always Do”: Larry Crowne

Terrible Name for a Movie: Dylan Dog: Dead of Night

Weird Name for a Movie: Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer

I Don’t Care What You Think of Me, I am Going to Watch: Shark Night 3-D

Best Alien Rival: Cowboys

Best Cowboy Rival: Aliens

Man Down: Man Up

Belgian Throwbacks: The Adventures of Tintin, The Smurfs

Okay, We’re Officially Over the Novelty of: Wipeout

But It’s Strangely Nice to Have the Novelty of: Fear Factor’s return

Most Deserving Emmy Win: Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones

Proof HBO Loves Us: Season 3 of Life & Times of Tim

Proof HBO Hates Us: Bored to Death canceled

Indie Kids Make Good: The Arcade Fire’s Best Album Grammy

Wasted, in Every Sense of the Word: Amy Winehouse

We Might as Well Accept: Justin Bieber

Divas We Love: Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj

Diva We Hate: Dionne Warwick (Celebrity Apprentice)

Sad and Awesome: Adele

100% More Legs: Paul McCartney’s new wife Nancy Shevell

Musicians over 70 Still Doing their Thing: Bob Dylan, Paul Simon, Leonard Cohen

This is a musical genre: Dreamthrash

So is this: Math Rock

Sounds Like a Musical Genre but is a Movie about Boxing Robots: Real Steel

Year We’re Looking Forward To: 2012

Year We’re All Supposed to Die: 2012

Terrible Movie about the Year to Come: 2012

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