I hate to do this in letter form, but I felt a face-to-face would be too emotional for the both of us. You and I have had a good run, but my heart’s just not in this anymore. I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore. I’m so sorry. I hope you can understand.
It began with so much promise almost three years ago. You were fresh, new, exciting. I was just a girl looking to be wooed. You swept me off my feet with your catchy pop tunes and your adorable gay characters and your ginger-haired guidance counselor with her cute little lisp. Week by week we grew closer and closer as the gang marched steadily toward Sectionals. I downloaded all your songs, even the ones you didn’t put on an official album. I sang along in the car, I listened on my runs, I watched and re-watched the episodes until I knew them by heart.
Things began to change that first summer. I knew we were growing up and growing apart, but I wanted to make it work. The Britney episode made me think this was going to be the best year ever. You shook things up a bit by bringing in Gwyneth Paltrow and making me kind of love her. You tugged at my heart strings by making Kurt’s dad so awesome and then giving him a heart attack. You brought me Blaine, like a shiny gay present (and, of course, mini-Blaine). It was a rocky year for us, but we made it through. The future looked bright.
But then, summer 2011 came and went, and things changed. You no longer seemed to care as much as you once did. That sparkle I saw in you had faded away. You resorted to cheap ploys to keep me interested – student/teacher affairs, a cheesy PBS Christmas special, Sam as a male stripper? – but the magic was gone. You phoned it in from week to week, and I forced myself to keep watching. Until… until…
The Michael Jackson episode was the last straw. Did you really expect me to put up with that bullshit from you? Nine MJ songs crammed into one 42-minute-long episode? You barely left room for any dialogue! And the song selection? Not your best work. The slimy villain? Lazy. The preachy, self-righteous teaching moment? Hypocritical, especially given how back-biting and gossipy your characters have been all season.
I went from love, to indifference, to hatred in less than half an hour.
And now, my love, it’s time for me to say goodbye. I’ll miss your moments of brilliance. I’ll miss your frank and realistic way of addressing issues like teen pregnancy and sexuality and bullying. I’ll miss your excellent Lady Gaga covers. But what I’ll miss most of all is the promise of something great. I thought we had a future, but you’ve let me down. Now I must move on without you.
I’ve deleted you from my DVR. Please don’t call me again.