The Entertation Index: March 12

.com, DollarShaveClub – From what I gather, this is for real.  Someone please check it out and tell me if the razors are indeed “F***ing Great.”

Link: New Razor Company (EW)

Fiona Apple's next album.

Apple, Fiona – The Tidal singer has a new album whose official title is 23 words long.  This doesn’t even beat her own record for title length, held by 1999’s When the Pawn…, which actually stretches out for eight lines.  Apple has hinted that her next album title will take literally until the end of time to speak in full, and cannot be uttered in a human tongue.

Link: Apple’s New LP (NY Daily News)

Kraft – Perhaps not surprisingly, the food giant announced that it will “redirect” its advertising from supposedly controversial new show GCB, which a 10-second Google search will reveal stands for Good Christian Bitches.  More surprising, if Kraft were going to pull its ads due to viewer complaints, why on earth would it advertise on a show whose name stands for Good Christian Bitches in the first place?

Link: Kraft Pulls Ads (TMZ)

Men, Mad – AMC’s flagship series will return for its fifth season after a 17-month hiatus, allowing you to resume water-cooler conversations about gender inequities and changing business dynamics in the early 60s.  No one will believe that you didn’t care about meth-dealing and zombies, though.

Link: Mad Men Returns (NY Times)

Moore, Demi – A source says that Moore has left rehab and is “in a better place.”  This is probably not phrasing you want to use in an industry where suicides and overdoses happen every other day.

Link: Moore Is Not Dead (People)

Weinstein, Harvey – The Oscar-winning producer shot down a spy novel movie adaptation suggested by President Obama.  A miffed Obama then reportedly ordered that Weinstein’s next movie, The Artist, be silenced.

Link: Weinstein Rebuffs President (The Wrap)