The Entertation Index: April 23

Bieber, Justin – After a paternity suit was dropped, the pop star recently rubbed it in on Twitter when he called out the woman who falsely claimed was the mother of his child: “Dear mariah yeeter…we have never met…so from the heart i just wanted to say…” and linked to a video of Borat saying “You will never get this.”  So immature.  The guy is acting like a total teenager.

Link: Bieber Battle (THR)

Brignac, Armand de – Alcohol company Armand de Brignac claimed that the founders of Instagram drank its “incredible 30L Armand de Brignac Brut Gold Midas—our towering, 100-pound vessel equivalent to 40 regular-sized bottles” at a party to celebrate their acquisition by Facebook, but retracted when the men said they hadn’t ordered the drink.  Armand admitted that the drink was actually a 55-gallon drum filled with Rebel Yell whiskey, grape Kool-Aid and pieces of fruit swiped from a college cafeteria.

Link: Armand Takes It Back (NY Post)

This did not happen while Robin Gibb was in a coma.

Gibb, Robin – The seriously ill Bee Gee recently awoke after almost two weeks in a coma.  He was informed that he was out for only 12 days, and that, sadly, disco was still pretty much dead.

Link: Gibb Awake (Daily Mail)

Lohan, Lindsay – The rehabbing starlet has had so many bad experiences at The Standard Hotel that she considers the place a curse, and has banned herself from going there again.  Hundreds of other bars and clubs have reportedly contacted Lohan’s publicist to see if they, too, could get on Lohan’s self-ban list.

Link: Lohan Self-Bans (TMZ)

Nugent, Ted – Commanders at the Fort Knox stop of the “Midwest Rock n’ Roll Express” tour have axed The Nuge from the lineup after his remarks about President Obama: “If Barack Obama becomes the president in November again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year.”  After widespread condemnation and a visit by the Secret Service, Nugent clarified that he would be “dead or in jail” because of the hardness with which he’ll party at Obama’s celebratory reelection bash.

Link: Nugent Nixed (CNN)

Simpson, Jessica – In response to unnamed people who apparently think that she gave birth, Simpson assures her restive fan base that she is still pregnant.  To those who might not believe her claims, she also issued a statement reporting the controversial “fact” that human beings have a gestation period of up to 9 months(!).  Media watchdogs are currently verifying these assertions.

Link: J-Simps Still Preggo! (People)