The Entertation Index: May 24

Blazonczyk, Eddie — Grammy-award winning artist and “Polka King” Eddie Blazonczyk passed away this week of natural causes at age 70 in Chicago. Our thoughts go out to his friends and family; we hear the funeral will be appropriately sad, but the wake’s gonna be an absolute blast.

Link: “Polka King” Dies at 70 (HuffPo)

DiCaprio, Leonardo — The National Enquirer reports that for the actor’s upcoming film, all starlets choosing to audition for roles must “come in wearing sexy clothes that show off their bodies” and anyone screentesting with DiCaprio must do so fully nude. Sure, that works for Mr. Big-Time Hotshot, but my Craigslist ad — offering the same thing — still has yet to yield any results.

Link: Leo DiCaprio has Definitely Figured Out this Whole Fame Thing (Celebslam)

Gatsby, The Great — Speaking of Leonardo DiCaprio, the first trailer for Baz Luhrmann’s ornate and big-budget 3-D screen adaptation of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby has finally hit the internet, featuring music by Kanye West and Jack White. I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t wait to see how Luhrmann handles the scene where Daisy and Gatsby escape on the chopper under a hail of bullets to the tune of Chris Brown’s “Turn the Music Up.”

Link: The Great Gatsby Trailer (People)

Lynn, Loretta — Although it’s believed — as recorded in country foremother Loretta Lynn’s famed book Coal Miner’s Daughter — that Lynn married longtime husband Oliver “Mooney” Lynn at age thirteen, new reports and official county records have come to light proving that the singer was indeed fifteen years old at the time of her nuptials. Whew, thank goodness this scandal has been cleared up. I think we can all agree it’s been weird, all this time, thinking that she was a mere fifth grader. Thank God she was a seventh grader.

Link: Report Says Lynn Was All of 15, Not 13, When She Married (NY Times)

Mayer, John — Guitar-strumming crooner John Mayer recently told late-night talk show host Jimmy Fallon that he recently wooed a lucky lady by singing a page from the kinky pop-culture phenomenon 50 Shades of Grey to her. Hold on. He’s using creepy, weird tactics to hook up with women? Hey everybody, John Mayer’s back!

Link: John mayer Used “50 Shades of Grey” to Impress a Woman (IMDB)

Snooki — The Jersey Shore star, who is currently a mother-to-be, has announced that she will not be a part of the show’s upcoming sixth season, with sources saying she’d rather not be surrounded by the boisterous roomies while in that delicate state. We now have the secret, America, and I think we all know what we have to do now: someone needs to get the Situation pregnant.

Link: Snooki – “I’m Evicting Myself from Jersey Shore House” (TMZ)