The Entertation Index: June 4

Remember this one? Thanks to movies like Battleship and John Carter, probably not.

Battleship – Out of both boredom and morbid curiosity, I almost paid $6.50 for a matinee ticket to see Battleship this weekend.  Then I thought, why not wait two weeks and pay $1 at the discount theaters?  With its horrible box office numbers, I may not have to wait that long.  Seriously, did anyone think this movie was a good idea?

Link: Battleship All Blowed Up (Forbes)

Clinton, Bill – If a film about his life were to be made, Clinton thinks that George Clooney and Meryl Streep would make a great Bill and Hillary.  His first choices, though, were reportedly himself as Bill and The Pussycat Dolls as Hillary.

Link: Bill Biopic (CNN)

Harris, Crystal – The bunny who got cold feet has returned after she left fiancée Hugh Hefner at the altar a year ago.  It doesn’t take long to learn that “Hugh Hefner’s Fiancée” isn’t an impressive resume item to most employers, and that money doesn’t just appear in your bank account.

Link: Harris Returns (People)

Lucas, George – The storied producer is apparently for real about retiring, and will probably call it quits soon.  Please, please resist the urge to screw up Star Wars and Indiana Jones any more before leaving, OK?

Link: Lucas Calling It A Day (EW)

Mueller, Brooke – An attorney for Charlie Sheen’s ex says that Mueller is going back to the drug rehabilitation and counseling Knoxville center, NOT because she has relapsed, OK?, but because the revisits are part of an legal agreement made a while back?  And she totally forgot her, um, cell phone charger when she was there last time and has to go pick it up.

Link: Mueller Rehabs (TMZ)

Samberg, Andy – The 7-year SNL veteran will not return as a cast member for the show’s next season.  As long as he still makes parody-rap albums that are actually pretty good rap albums, digital shorts, and a few good movies, this will just end up saving people about 90 minutes of their Saturday nights.

Link: Samberg Says Goodbye (KWQC)