The Entertation Index: June 11

Clay, Andrew Dice — USA Today reported last week that 80’s comic provocateur Andrew “Dice” Clay has been tapped by director Woody Allen to star in an upcoming film. Or at least he was, until the two met and, upon shaking hands for the first time, negated each other’s existence and disappeared forever.

Link: Andrew Dice Clay to Star in New Woody Allen Movie (USA Today)

Hill, Lauryn — Former Fugee and eight-time Grammy winner Lauryn Hill has been slapped by the IRS for failing to file income tax returns for three years in which she made in excess of 1.6 million dollars. The IRS contends that the singer knowingly evaded the government dues, while Hill herself chalks it up to a simple miseducation of our nation’s tax system.

Link: Lauryn Hill Charged with Tax Evasion (NY Times)

Lohan, Lindsay —  Actress Lindsay Lohan was briefly hospitalized on Friday after the Porsche she was driving slammed into the back of an 18-wheel truck, then released with no major injuries. When police asked about the cause of the accident, Lohan replied that “it’s just so hard to accelerate and brake with judge-appointed ankle bracelets on both legs.”

Link: Lohan Hospitalized After Collision With 18-Wheeler (HuffPo)

Maybe, Call Me — Hey, you, under the rock. Heard this Carly Rae Jepsen tune “Call Me Maybe” yet? Oh, you will. The official song of the summer is being covered by everyone from the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders to Katy Perry and Justin Bieber. For my money, however, enjoy the following cover Jimmy Fallon did with Jepsen and the Roots all piled into a tiny room on children’s classroom instruments. It’s pretty great.

Link: Call Me Maybe (YouTube)

Nova, Terra — FOX’s ill-received dinosaur time-travel adventure drama Terra Nova was supposedly canceled in March with the showrunners announcing they would shop season two of the program around to other interested networks. Then, according to the link below, FOX started selling off the vehicles from the show. That probably means season two is a great big “no.” Or that there won’t be any vehicles in the second season. Which means no one can escape from dinosaurs. Which means even if there’s a season two, there likely won’t be a season three. I guess what I’m saying here is that you might not want to hold out hope for Terra Nova. A vehicle-less dinosaur world is a rough place.

Link: Terra Nova’s Vehicles Are Now on the Auction Block (Giant Freakin Robot)

Pattinson, Robert — The emo actor told the UK’s The Guardian that he constantly struggles to be taken seriously, that people assume that he’s “going to be dumb” and that he’d “like to strangle” the person who came up with the nickname R-Patz because it’s ruining his credibility. Err, we all saw Twilight. It’s not the nickname, bro. It’s probably all the pining. Or all the sparkling. Just saying.

Link: Robert Pattinson – “I Want to Strangle Inventor of R-Patz Nickname” (DigitalSpy)