The Entertation Index: August 9

A matter of time, dude.

Bieber, Justin – The Biebs started a minor fracas by criticizing the thinning hair of England’s Prince William.  “I mean, there are things to prevent that nowadays, like Propecia.  I don’t know why he doesn’t just get those things, those products. You just take Propecia and your hair grows back. Have you not got it over here?”  Oh, Justin, if only it were that easy.  Just you wait, little feller.

Link: Bieb’s Blasts Bill’s Hair (TMZ)

Brothers, Brant The – Do you know who the Brant Brothers are?  Probably not!  You will prefer not to know them even more after reading this Gawker article.  It’s pretty funny, and worth the read.  Some NSFW language.

Link: Brant Bros, Bruh! (Gawker)

Culkin, Macaulay – Amidst rumors that he was a recluse with a heroin addiction, the 31-year-old actor (who still looks 12) showed up at Natalie Portman’s wedding.  Turns out he was simply evading a couple bumbling boneheads trying to burglarize his home while his parents vacation in France.

Link: Culkin Sighting (Examiner)

Holmes, Katie – The newly single actress is reportedly enjoying her freedom after divorcing Tom Cruise.  A source says, “Tom…influenced what movies she appeared in, so she was unable to steer her career in the way she wanted to. Now, she has full control over what she wants to do and that freedom is exciting for her.”  Well, then, let’s hope for The Gift 2.

Link: Holmes Happy (Radar Online)

Keys, Black – Notoriously prickly Keys’ member Patrick Carney showed his softer side when talking about the band’s upcoming gig at Global Festival 2012, which aims to fight global poverty: “The scale of things that they’re trying do just felt really cool, and we’re trying to get the ball rolling…It just felt like the right time to do something.”  Carney is expected to revert to form soon after by questioning his own motives in increasingly foul language.

Link: Keys Charity Gig (Cleveland Plain Dealer)

Pad, Bachelor – Though “Reality Steve” has taken down all Bachelor Pad spoilers from his site due to a possible legal issue, Brown Tweed refuses to be cowed.  Here they are: a bunch of already-rejected douches and douchettes will act like spoiled brats (which most of them are) in order to prove who among them is the worst human being, while attempting to win a quarter million dollars.  Bring on your lawsuits, entertainment industry!

Link: Bachelor Pad Spoilers Retracted (EW)