The Entertation Index: Februrary 28

Bates, Kathy — Misery star Kathy Bates has been tapped by American Horror Story creator Ryan Murphy to appear in season three of the chilling anthology series opposite returning actress Jessica Lange. And that means that finally, all those “KATHY BATES BONDAGE LATEX SUIT” Google searches you’ve been typing will turn up something positive up for you! Enjoy!

Link: “American Horror Story” Enlists Kathy Bates for Season 3 (Hollywood Reporter)

Downey Jr., Robert — Originally reported to take on the tiular role in director Sam Raimi’s monster-budget Wizard of Oz spinoff Oz the Great and Powerful, a Hollywood Reporter story reveals that Robert Downey Jr. may have been ousted after Raimi visited his home and saw a plant he’d given the actor wilting and neglecting in the corner. If this is true, it’s the juiciest gossip since Katie Holmes was forced from the Batman franchise for regifting a Cracker Barrel gift card from Christopher Nolan.

Link: “Oz the Great and Powerful” – Disney’s $200 Million Gamble (Hollywood Reporter)

LYLAS, The — Grammy-winner Bruno Mars’ four sisters Presley, Tahiti, Tiara and Jaime Kailani — better known as the all-girl singing group The LYLAS — have announced plans to make an album and star in their own reality show later this year. I look forward to watching this struggling girl group fight the battles of anonymity and dingy, unattended club gigs as they search for their big break, which will come (spoiler alert!) when one of them realizes their brother is Bruno Mars and that they all have his phone number.

Link:  Bruno Mars’ Sisters Take Off (Midweek)

Morrissey — Famed Smiths leader and notable whiner Morrissey was slated to appear on Tuesday’s episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live when he announced that he would not play the show unless Kimmel removed reality stars from the television program Duck Dynasty from the lineup, owing to the singer’s Vegan sensibilities — and Kimmel’s organization replaced Morrissey on the evening’s lineup. So all those drunken bar arguments you’ve had over the last year of “who’s more important to the art world, Morrissey or Duck Dynasty?” finally has an answer.

Link: Morrissey Cancels Kimmel Performance, Citing “Animal Serial Killers” (NY Times)

Yes, Harry. We know how you feel; we’ve listened to your music.

Styles, Harry — For your enjoyment: One Direction member Harry Styles getting hit in the crotch with a flying shoe at the band’s recent show in Glasgow, Scotland. Taylor Swift has been brought in for questioning.

Link: Harry Styles Nailed Below the Belt by Fan’s Flying Shoe (Yahoo)

Weiland, Scott — Stone Temple Pilots’ frontman Scott Weiland was apparently fired without Weiland’s knowing on Wednesday morning, leading the STP founder to release his own statement that he was “not sure how [he could] be ‘terminated’ from a band that I founded, fronted and co-wrote many of its biggest hits, but that’s something for the lawyers to figure out. In the meantime, I’m looking forward to seeing all of my fans on my solo tour which starts this Friday.” We’re with you, Scott — what a bunch of ingrates!! Now go enjoy the tour on which you were going to go and leave all your bandmates at home while you perform the ‘good songs’ you squirreled away for your solo abum.

Link: Scott Weiland Responds to Stone Temple Pilots Firing (USA Today)