The Entertation Index: March 4

Boyle, Susan – The Scottish singing sensation who vaulted to fame and fortune(?) on…that one singing or talent show either here or in England, in like, 2008 or 9-ish? will appear on the big screen in period piece The Christmas Candle where she’ll act and maybe sing that one song she was famous for.  So much for striking while the iron is hot.

Link: Boyle on Big Screen (Idolator)

Delaware, Miss – Miss Teen Delaware USA Melissa King has resigned her title after it was revealed that she allegedly appeared in a pornographic video.  Delaware, you need to own this: this is the only thing outside of being the First State in the Union that people will ever remember you for.

Link: Miss Delaware Resigns (Huffington Post)

Kids, smoking marijuana only leads to brain damage and winning Academy Awards.

Lawrence, Jennifer – Oscar-winner Lawrence was caught on film smoking, as several headlines say, a “suspicious cigarette.”  The stories that actually called it a “marijuana cigarette” were written by your high school guidance counselor.

Link: Lawrence Lights Up (Buzzfeed)

Montana, French – Gunfire claimed the life of one person outside the hotel after the rapper’s recent concert in Philadelphia.  As of this morning, police had no suspects or any idea why a rapper would name himself French Montana.

Link: No Motive in Montana Shooting (MTV)

Obama, President – When discussing the impasse regarding the so-called “sequester,” President Obama mixed sci-fi metaphors, saying he couldn’t simply “Jedi mind-meld” with Republicans.  Big mistake, Barack.  Almost as big as when Picard blew the sneak attack against the Death Star in Return of Khan.

Link: Obama Gaffes (Chicago Tribune)

Swift, Taylor – The “I Knew You Were Trouble” songstress shared the day and most of the evening with singer Ed Sheeran, according to several media outlets.  Swift is expected to accompany Sheeran soon to meet his family in Hobbiton.

Link: Swift + Sheeran? (E! Online)