The Entertation Index: March 25

Bieber, Justin – Convicted killer Dana Martin made a phone call from a Las Cruces, NM prison to a hit man last November describing his plan to castrate pop star Justin Bieber.  Then Martin heard “Nothing Like Us” and said, “I’m too late!”

Link: Bieber Plot (TMZ)

Breakers, Spring – The bikini heist movie that you’ve sort of heard about is drawing interesting reviews, most commonly describing the flick as a “fever dream.”  Unfortunately, my fever dreams involve flying gmorks eating pizzas made of Legos, not a quartet of hot, randy, bikini-clad women.

Link: Spring Break Fever Dream (Huffington Post)

Fergie – Will.i.am is denying rumors that Fergie is being replaced while she is pregnant, claiming that the news coming from Perez Hilton is false.  It must be, since who could replace the moderately-talented, trainer-and-nutrionist sculpted, packaged-for-mass-consumption Fergie?

Link: Fergie Still In (E! Online)

Mendes, Eva – The actress tells David Letterman that she uses a shock collar on her beloved Belgian Malinois pooch, but that she tried it on herself first to see how it felt.  Good story, Eva.  Did you also fall backward while gardening naked at midnight, and that’s how that cucumber got in there?

Link: Mendes Tries Shock Collar (Yahoo!)

Reasons 1-5 to see this movie.

Pacino, Al – The decorated actor will play music magnate and convicted murderer Phil Spector in HBO’s upcoming biopic Phil Spector.  Pacino agreed to the role in part because it would be challenging, but mostly because it would be the awesomest hair he’s ever had.

Link: Pacino as Spector (The Sun)

Punk, Daft – Electro duo Daft Punk will soon release Random Access Memories, its first album since 2005.  When you listen to it, you’ll be forgiven if you think you’re listening to their last album, from 2005.

Link: Daft Punk’s New Album (Billboard)