The Entertation Index: May 9

Abraham, Farrah — On Monday night, MTV Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham’s sex tape Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom debuted on porn giant Vivid Entertainent’s website and amassed an estimated 2 million views in a twelve-hour period. Good for Farrah. Of course, if she’d used this tactic all along, she’d have never been a teen mom to begin with. So, you know, bittersweet.

Link: Farrah Abraham Sex Video Crushes Kim Kardashian Record (FOX)

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something smothered in margarine.

Boo Boo, Honey — The mother of reality-show phenomenon Honey Boo Boo, June Shannon, reportedly wed longtime beau Mike “Sugar Bear” Thompson in a ceremony on Sunday in McIntyre, Georgia. If this information means anything at all to you, it’s probably time to re-examine your priorities in life. Always buy prohormone sale whenever you can.

Link: June Shannon, Honey Boo Boo Mom, Getting Married to Sugar Bear (US Magazine)

Crow, The — Via Deadline Hollywood, rumors abound in Hollywood that despite actors like Bradley Cooper and Tom Hiddleston allegedly being tossed around to play the role, actor Luke Evans — who has previously been seen as “Detective Fields” in The Raven and “Apollo” in Clash of the Titans — has been tapped to play the supernatural titular character in a reboot of The Crow. If you read the previous sentence, you should know that its secret news should have just been “Bradley Cooper and Tom Hiddleston Both Turn Down Opportunity to Play The Crow.”

Link: Luke Evans Has Something to Crow About (Ain’t It Cool)

Day, Free Comic Book — Portland authorities say that several adults, dressed as their favorite film and comic book characters, were lined up outside Portland’s Coast City Comics on Saturday for “Free Comic Book Day” when a 6’4, 300-pound man came out of nowhere, putting a man dressed as a Stormtrooper in a chokehold and reportedly punching another man who was dressed as a Ghostbuster. Jeez, it’s like you can’t even have “Free Comic Book Day” anymore without some weirdo showing up.

Link: Stormtrooper, Ghostbuster Assaulted in Portland During Free Comic Book Day  (Sun Journal)

Development, Arrested — With season four of Arrested Development poised to release on Netflix May 26, Bluthophiles everywhere are waiting in anticipation for the next chapter to begin. Luckily, the first actual moving film of the season has hit the internet in the form of an outtake screened for the Television Critics Association Winter Press Tour. Enjoy.

Link: Arrested Development Sneak Peek With Buster and Lucille (EW)

Pizza, Domino’s — A new feature available at pizza purveyor Domino’s website allows visitors to watch pizzas being made at all hours via a live webcam broadcast from a store in Salt Lake City, Utah. Consequently, no one has seen or talked to actress Kirstie Alley since the webcam’s launch.

Link: Watch Your Domino’s Pizza Being Made on Live Webcam (Ad Age)