The Entertation Index: May 16

Arthur, Bea — This week will see Christie’s Auction House sell a 1991 painting by artist John Currin entitled “Bea Arthur Naked” and hypothesizing what the Golden Girls star may have looked like sans clothes. It is expected to fetch between 1.8-2.5 million dollars, which is bullshit because for years I’ve been giving away sketches of Rue McClanahan nude for free. Where’s my payday?

Link: “‘Bea Arthur Naked’ Could Sell for $2.5 Million (The Daily Beast)

Brothers, Joyce — Psychologist Dr. Joyce Brothers, one of the modern mass media age’s first “celebrity” doctors, passed away on Monday at her New Jersey home at age 85. She’ll long be remembered for her astute observations on psychology and her many self-help books, but perhaps just as much for her self-effacing manner and willingness to have fun at her own expense, from Steve Martin’s The Lonely Guy to Saturday Night Live. Our thoughts go out to her family.

Link: Dr. Joyce Brothers Talks Naughty Parts on Conan O’Brien (YouTube)

Leonardo DiCaprio in a scene from Baz Luhrmann’s “The Great Gatsby”

Gatsby, The Great –– It was merely passed over when F. Scott Fitzgerald first penned the novel, but over the years the success of The Great Gatsby as one of the great American books has led to countless adaptations, including Baz Luhrmann’s lavish retelling that clocked in with over fifty million dollars this past weekend at the box office. HIGH SCHOOL TEACHERS TAKE NOTE: safe signs that your student only watched the movie and did not read the book include but are not limited to the following mentions: Tom Buchanan’s twerking, West Egg going HAM and Meyer Wolfsheim “popping mollies.”

Link: “Great Gatsby Surprises Box Office with Fancy $51M Debut (MTV)

Island, The Lonely — With a new album due in June, parodists The Lonely Island has announced “Wack Wednesdays,” in which each humpday will see the debut of a new video from Andy Samberg and company. Like this one, which begins as a beloved “Between Two Ferns” episode and quickly devolves into a Spring Break anthem, and then devolves into something very, very different. See for yourself.

Link: “Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis – James Franco” (FunnyOrDie)

Smith, Jaden — Yahoo.com’s entertainment section, aptly titled OMG because it has all the subtlety of an excitable eighth grader, has written that fifteen year-old movie star Jaden Smith, son of Will and Jada Pinkett, has made a request known that he’d like to be “emancipated” from his parents and live on his own. Oh, that special coming of age, that time-honored tradition when a young son stars in a Karate Kid remake, acts alongside his father in a giant-budget summer tentpole space movie and then heads out to live on his own wisdom at age fifteen. Am I right, Dads everywhere? Seems like just yesterday you were making The Pursuit of Happyness, and visiting mom on the red carpet of the Madagascar 2 premiere. Time flies.

Link: Jaden Smith Wants to be Emancipated from Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith (Yahoo OMG)

Underwood, Carrie — Multiple Grammy-winner and ex-American Idol champ Carrie Underwood claims to have predicted her own fate in her high school yearbook when, in an interview with Marie Claire, the singer revealed that her plan was to be “rich, famous and married to a hot guy.” Other predictions that have come true from Underwood’s yearbook is that she “stayed the same and went far,” “never changed,” “kept on bein’ CRAZY” and “always remembered those funny times in Mr. Henderson’s class.”

Link: Carrie Underwood’s Yearbook Predictions Come True (Yahoo OMG)