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The Entertation Index: April 15

April 15, 2013

Bieber, Justin – 19 year-old Justin Bieber, on the European leg of his current world tour, took some time this past weekend to stop by the home of Anne Frank, where he wrote the following words in the museum’s guest book: “Anne Was a Great Girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber.” I’m not even going to sully this with a joke. So…yeah. I think we all just learned something here, didn’t we? Let’s move on.

Link: Justin Bieber – “Anne Frank Was a Great Girl” (HuffPo)

"If I can't have the little red haired girl, no one can."

“If I can’t have the little red haired girl, no one can.”

Brown, Charlie — The 56 year-old man who voiced Charlie Brown in numerous early Peanuts animated specials has pleaded guilty to stalking and threatening an ex-girlfriend and her plastic surgeon. If convicted, the man could be sentenced to up to three years in prison and daily five-cent psychiatric advice from Dr. Lucy Van Pelt.

Link: Voice of Charlie Brown Pleads Guilty to Threatening and Stalking in California (Fox)

Kardashians, Keeping up with — A current lawsuit spearheaded by Kim Kardashian’s ex-husband Kris Humphries — who claims to have been “trashed” in the press — may force the reality show starlet to admit under courtroom oath that certain scenes from her reality show are scripted. I’m not sure which is worse news: that the Kardashians have been faking scenes all this time, or that a team of writers can’t come up with a better scene than the intense drama of Kourtney and Kim Kardashian discussing the color of a birthday cake or Bruce Jenner trying to fix a broken lamp.

Link: Kris Humphries’ Lawyers Reportedly Intend to Force Her to Admit She Faked Scenes for “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” (NY Post)

Posters, Movie — From the ever-popular “Big Heads Over Tiny People On a Beach” to the romantic comedy staple “Back to Back, Viewed from the Side,” the website Bored Panda has cleverly amassed thirteen great movie poster cliches. And they’re all pretty much dead on. Enjoy.

Link: 13 Popular Movie Poster Cliches (Bored Panda)

Sabbath, Black — With a new album on the way, rockers Black Sabbath will debut their new single “The End is the Beginning” on the season finale of crime drama CSI: Crime Scene Investigators on May 15. The episode will focus on the forensic investigation into the death of popular demand for Black Sabbath albums in 2013.

Link: Black Sabbath to Perform, Debut New Song on “CSI” Season Finale (Hollywood Reporter)

Winters, Jonathan — A great is gone, people. The Mark Twain Prize-winning Jonathan Winters passed away of natural causes last week at the old age of 87. Although an entire younger generation (perhaps two) may not know Winters’ name, the influence he left on those through the years can’t be denied. Fly away, Mr. Winters; you were too good for this world anyway.

Link: Jonathan Winters in “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World” (YouTube)

 

 

TBTS Music Reviews: The Black Angels – Indigo Meadow

April 12, 2013

1968 was a crazy year. It will no doubt be referred to as “the year that changed the world” for a long time to come. Now that we are on the verge of a new decade I am a bit on the worried side. I mean, I’m sure we will all be teleporting to work and going to the grocery station in flying cars any day now, but how are we going to pay for all of that? Yeah sure minimum wage did get raised to $1.60 an hour last February, and that is a huge improvement up from $1.40, but really, what is the world coming to? Look, I have every confidence that President Nixon will lead us faithfully, with integrity and an ample amount of grit, but in order to…  um, what? It’s not 1969? Surely you must be joking. It can’t be… what year? Now wait just a minute. Let me see…Moody Blues, Iron Butterfly, King Crimson, Jefferson Airplane, ah yes, here it is: The Black AngelsIndigo Meadow. The perfect cap to an amazing decade. Let’s have a drink, shall we? To the 60’s! Just listen; swirling reverb soaked arrangements, deeply intertwined organ and fuzz guitar riffs, barely distinguishable lyrics: acid rock at its finest.  Read more…

The Entertation Index: April 11

April 11, 2013

Aiken, Clay — A 57 year-old woman has been charged by a North Carolina judge after trespassing on the property of  American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken’s home. The judge called the woman a nuisance, a criminal and, if she really believes she can make Aiken love her, the least well-informed stalker in history.

Link: Woman Charged with Stalking Clay Aiken (WRAL)

Coachella — The organizers behind popular music festival Coachella have announced set times for 2013’s event, which begins tomorrow. Please note the Yeah Yeah Yeahs at 8:25 pm on Friday, Franz Ferdinand at 10:15 pm on Saturday, The Lumineers at 4:45 on Sunday. Being drunk, dirty and talking nonstop about the one DJ gig you did one time will, as usual, take place all weekend long.

Link: Coachella 2013 Set Times Released (HuffPo)

Hagar, Sammy — Current Chickenfoot and one time Van Halen frontman Sammy Hagar addressed his estrangement from his former Van Halen bandmates recently in an interview by saying that “I would be in that band, still, if we could get along.” Sure, Sammy. And you’d still have a license if you could drive fifty-five. I guess some things just aren’t possible.

Link: Sammy Hagar – “I would be in Van Halen if we could get along” (Van Halen News Desk)

Paisley, Brad — Country singer Brad Paisley’s new song, a collaboration with rapper LL Cool J   called “Accidental Racist” which apologizes for the South’s history, is being soundly blasted by critics across the board for its bizarre lyrics and self-importance. On one front it succeeds, however: it’s simultaneously both the worst thing to happen to both hip hop AND country music.

Link: Is Brad Paisley’s “Accidental Racist” an Epic Fail (USA Today)

Park, Jurassic — With the success of Jurassic Park 3D this past weekend, New York Magazine has a story on how sound-effects engineers decided upon and created the noises made by the film’s CGI dinosaurs, including a horse in heat for the Gallimus flock which stampeded through the countryside and two tortoises having sex for the barking of the velociraptors. So see? All those noises you thought were scary weren’t scary at all. They were really just kind of skeevy, gross and icky.

Link: How the Dino Sounds in Jurassic Park Were Made (Vulture)

imagesVoorhees, Jason –– Actor Richard Booker, the first to portray Friday the 13th’s killer Jason Voorhees in a hockey mask, has died. Well, they thought he was dead, and then he came back again. And then they thought he was dead again, but he came back at the end.

Link: RIP Richard Booker (Dread Central)

 

 

Will Eisner, You Did So Much For Us: The Clyde Fitch Report

April 9, 2013

The Brown Tweed Society is pleased to host Jai Sen, contributor to The Clyde Fitch Report, the nexus of art and politics.

48-1If ever there are two things that should be said in the same breath, it’s “comics” and “Will Eisner.”

If you don’t work in the comics field (or are not a diehard comics fan), you may not have even heard of this man. Or, if you have, you know of him as a legend.

Aside from being a prolific comics artist himself, Eisner was one of the first to advance the study of comics as (a uniquely American, but also fully recognizable) art form. He coined the terms “graphic novel” and “sequential art,” which are now part of both the practice and scholarship of this odd new-old medium.

I first encountered Eisner when, much to my sputtering amazement, one of my books was nominated for the award that bears his name. As I was called up on the stage, Eisner stood off to the side, grinning broadly through the entire ceremony. I remember shaking his hand, frail and gaunt, and his muttered words of encouragement. He was there as a father to the whole shebang, comics as they are known today, including aspiring indie types like me.

I was too overwhelmed to fully absorb what he said to me, but I do recall it was something to the effect of “very interesting!” (Could it be that he’d actually read my book, I wondered? It might be that he was pleased to see diversity of subject matter and creators being recognized—or was just being polite—or both.) Neil Gaiman introduced him that year in a brief speech recognizing his massive contribution to comics, saying, “There was a time when people thought of Will Eisner as a weirdo and an oddity.” Eisner’s persistence, his vision, and his sheer cheerfulness brought not only validity to an entire medium: they established him permanently as its grandfather figure.

 Read more…

Visit The Clyde Fitch Report daily for for more posts on arts, theater and politics. Follow the Clyde Fitch Report on Twitter at @TheCFReport, and on Facebook.

The Entertation Index: April 8

April 8, 2013

Knight, Jonathan — New Kid on the Block Jonathan Knight walked off the stage last Thursday night during a New York conference after showing little interest in singing alongside his colleagues. Onlookers told CNN reporters that Knight stood uncomfortably in the background and texted on his phone during the performance. The article also quotes Knight as being noticeably “out of sync” — a problem not had by the boy band act following NKOTB, which was, as you may have guessed, The Backstreet Boys.

Link: Jonathan Knight Exits New Kids on the Block Show Mid-Concert (CNN)

R.I.P., Roger Ebert. The best in the biz.

R.I.P., Roger Ebert. The best in the biz.

Ebert, Roger — We’d be remiss if we didn’t make reference to our generation’s undisputed king of film critics Roger Ebert, who succumbed to cancer late last week and whose television show At the Movies became arguably the first introduction to film criticism on Saturday afternoons for anyone between the ages of 30 and 50. He was an amazing mind and an amazing writer, and his words will be greatly missed.

Link: The Best Roger Ebert Reviews – and Zingers – of All Time (The Philly Post)

Jameson, Jenna — Millionaire ex-porn star Jenna Jameson was arrested Saturday night before her birthday festivities at an Anaheim night club even began, according to gossip site TMZ. According to sources, an unwelcome fan approached Jameson, who responded by beating him off. What? Why are you laughing? This is serious.

Link: Former Porn Star Jenna Jameson Accused of Battery (CBS Los Angeles)

Love, Courtney — Kurt Cobain’s ex-wife and former Babes in Toyland and Hole frontwoman Courtney Love told Wonderland Magazine — whatever that is — last week that she was in discussions to join a reality TV talent competition as a judge and mentor. She refuses to name the program, but early reports suggest that the program will feature Love discovering new talent, latching herself on to it as tightly as she can, making as much money as she can from it and riding it until it’s gone forever, then raping its memory. If you’re opposed to her and you’re not making enough money for living, visit the site of financebyte now to talk with their brokers about loans. Tuesday nights at 8:00 on CBS!

Link: Courtney Love in Talks for TV Talent Show (MSN)

Park, Jurassic — With the re-release of Steven Spielberg’s fantastic Jurassic Park in state-of-the-art 3-D this weekend crushing the competition and coming in second at the box office, let’s celebrate with the Honest Trailer of Jurassic Park, shall we? Yes, we shall. Enjoy.

Link: Honest Trailer for Jurassic Park 3D (Slashfilm)

Snipes, Wesley — Please join TBTS in welcoming back to society Blade star Wesley Snipes, who was released from prison this weekend after three years. For those of you who don’t know, Snipes was convicted in 2010 for tax evasion, a charge only further exacerbated by his spearheading of a New York crack syndicate, hustling of street basketball players and antagonization of Sylvester Stallone in the year 2032.

Link: Wesley Snipes released from Prison (TMZ)

The Entertation Index: April 4

April 4, 2013

Angeles, Los — A bright green stripe down the streets of downtown Los Angeles, designed to keep bicycle riders safe in traffic, is being fought by movie studio location scouts who say the safety precaution makes filming in L.A. more difficult and hinders Los Angeles-based “period pieces.” So you can forget about that flashback to 2009 in Transformers IV, America. Those civic do-gooders have ruined everything.

Link: Location Scouts Upset Again Over Green Bike Lane in Downtown L.A. (LA Times)

KEEP YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF JEFF DUNHAM.

KEEP YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF JEFF DUNHAM.

Dunham, Jeff — According to TMZ, authorities have neutralized the source of anonymous Twitter death threats toward successful ventriloquist Jeff Dunham and the comedian is no longer in danger. Allegedly, the perpetrator’s threats included veiled references to wood stains and an unsettling picture of a stack of sandpaper.

Link: Puppet Master Jeff Dunham – Cops Crack Twitter Death Threat Case (TMZ)

Express 2, Pineapple — Thought the incredibly entertaining red-band trailer to James Franco and Seth Rogen’s upcoming meta-Hollywood comedy This Is the End would be released a day later on April 2, April Fool’s day itself saw a false, sweded trailer for a Pineapple Express sequel that morphs into a This Is the End teaser. If all this is confusing, just watch the videos. Pretty fun, I think we can all agree.

Link:  Pineapple Express 2 – Official Trailer (YouTube)

Flav, Flavor — Sources close to the couple are confirming that Flavor Flav’s fiancée Liz Trujillo was not, as previously believed, hospitalized over the weekend due to a drug overdose and that “nothing could be further from the truth.” The source went on to say that Trujillo was hospitalized for “exhaustion.” Yeah. That sounds perfectly reasonable for a fiancée of Flavor Flav.

Link: Flavor Flav’s Fiancee Hospitalized for Exhaustion, Not Overdose (Yahoo)

Mercury, Freddie — An upcoming memoir by British comedienne Cleo Rocos claims that one night in the eighties, Queen frontman Freddie Mercury and a friend took Princess Diana of Wales out on the town to a gay bar wearing an army jacket and passed her off as a “male model.” As the story goes, the jig at one point was almost up when an amorous admirer whispered that he wanted to see her “crown jewels.”

Link: Queen’s Freddie Mercury ‘Smuggled Princess Diana Into Gay Bar” (The Sun)

Shorr, Matt — From right here in the TBTS newsroom: our very own Matt Shorr and his lovely wife have given birth to a beautiful baby girl, Olivia May, born Sunday night. Please join us in welcoming her to the world, and let’s all strive to avoid  leaving her generation a television lineup still filled with Kardashian offspring.

In Which We Confess Our Sins and Engage in Some Light Blasphemy

April 3, 2013
Confessional

Bless me, readers, for I have sinned…

I hate the Rolling Stones. Hate them. Flames… Flames on the side of my face…

I love Quentin Tarantino movies but I hate Quentin Tarantino.

I genuinely like all four Alien movies (and the first Alien vs. Predator, but not the second.)

Billy Joel has written exactly three good songs: “Scenes From an Italian Restaurant,” “You May Be Right,” and “Movin’ Out.” The rest are garbage. (I will allow for “The Longest Time,” but only ironically.)

Adam Sandler is not now, nor has he ever been, funny.

The Dark Knight Rises was an unforgivably boring conclusion to a series that had long forgotten it was supposed to be based on a (fairly ridiculous) comic book character.

I didn’t read A Game of Thrones until after I’d watched the HBO series.

I’ve never seen Grease or Gone With the Wind or Casablanca. (Until recently, this list also included Rocky Horror and Dirty Dancing. No thanks to my wife…)

…But I have seen Xanadu. That’s kinda like Grease, right?

The Matrix sequels were, in fact, not nearly as bad as people like to say.

Ford is better than Chevy.

I didn’t care for Toy Story 3.

99% of punk music is crap.

Despite being an unapologetic metalhead, I don’t think I could identify a single Slayer song.

I sometimes get Cate Blanchett and Gwyneth Paltrow mixed up.

I’ve never read The Canterbury Tales. Or Hamlet. Or The Catcher In the Rye.

I’ve read The Great Gatsby twice and still have no idea what it’s supposed to be about.

I do not understand where all this Anne Hathaway hate comes from. She’s gorgeous and a damn fine actor.

Star Trek TNG is better than TOS (though I generally prefer Kirk to Picard)

Star Wars is better than Star Trek

…and Firefly is better than any of them.

I’ve never seen any of the Clint Eastwood westerns.

I’ve boycotted the Oscars ever since Forrest Gump beat out Pulp Fiction for Best Picture.

Glee‘s first season was genuinely good television. The rest not so much.

I have never seen a single episode of any of the following: The Voice, American Idol, Honey Boo Boo, Duck Dynasty, or anything involving housewives.

Justin Timberlake is awesome.

Woody Allen has exactly one great movie to his name, Annie Hall, which was made in 1977. I do not understand his continued popularity.

I miss Homestar Runner.

Sometimes I can’t think of anything to blog about.

TBTS Reviews: Phosphorescent, Muchacho

April 2, 2013

phosphorescent muchacho coverMy favorite album of 2013 so far, Phosphorescent’s Muchacho makes me think about the words of the great poet, Steve Perry of Journey, who used to sing about the wheel in the sky that always keeps on turning. The gears of time grind inexorably on, movement is just as likely to be circular as it is to be forward, and we don’t really know where we’ll be tomorrow. That’s deep stuff, though possibly unintentionally so, given that the source is the guy who also dropped, “Any way you want it, that’s the way you need it.”

That said, I’ll never mention Steve Perry again, and I’ll talk more about Muchacho in a second. But first let me tell you about my uncle Bob. This is going somewhere, I promise.

Last Christmas my uncle, aged 75 or so, acknowledged to my brother and me that he is slowing down physically and mentally. The former has been obvious for a while — he’s got bad hearing, a bum leg, a tricky back — but I was surprised to hear the latter because that night he seemed as sharp and engaged as ever. A thoughtful and eloquent man, a pastor who’s commanded a pulpit and led a congregation for decades, my uncle was clearly troubled by the prospect of his mental capacity diminishing. The whole arc of his life was also on his mind, and at one point he said something like, “Boys, I look back sometimes and I just don’t know where the time all went.” He displayed grace and good humor, no doubt buoyed by his solid faith, but I still saw a man in whom an awareness of old age, a Prufrockian concern that he has “seen the moment of [his] greatness flicker,” was coagulating thick and heavy in his marrow. Read more…

The Entertation Index: April 1

April 1, 2013

Bieber, Justin – Shortly after arriving in Germany last week without the proper papers, the pop star’s monkey was quarantined.  This is somehow not a euphemism.

Link: Bieber’s Monkey (Fox News)

Gummer, Mamie – Meryl Streep’s daughter Mamie Gummer and her husband, Ben Walker, are calling it quits after just two years of marriage.  We know what you’re thinking: Meryl Streep has a daughter named Mamie Gummer?

Link: Gummer/Walker Done (People)

Guthrie, Samantha – The internet is abuzz with speculation that Guthrie flipped Today co-host Matt Lauer the bird during a live spot.  Guthrie denies it, but even if she did, it’s probably the nicest reaction Lauer has received from his co-hosts in a while.

Link: Guthrie Gives Bird? (EW)

Probably not playing Richard Pryor.

Probably not playing Richard Pryor.

Pryor, Richard – Anyone waiting a couple decades for a Richard Pryor biopic should know about a new development.  Director Bill Condon, who left the project for the last two Twilight films, has been replaced by Forest Whitaker.  Those of you who thought the news was that Clay Aiken was going to play Pryor can now rest easy.

Link: Pryor Pic Changes Again (Deadline)

Rock, The – Huffington Post writes that when a franchise needs a jolt of energy, it calls in Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson: “The 40-year-old actor has become a savior of stale film series, injecting new life into ‘Fast Five,’ ‘The Mummy Returns,’ ‘Journey 2: The Mysterious Island’ and now ‘G.I. Joe: Retaliation.’” I’m going to let that sentence stand as its own joke.

Link: Rock Revives (Huffington Post)

Mayer, John – The “Wonderland” singer says he had botox not for aesthetic reasons, but to fix issues with his throat.  The procedure left him unable to speak for an extended period of time, with Mayer saying, “I probably had contiguously three, maybe four months of not saying a word. The endurance was tough for me, but I started a new life.”  The sad ending to this story is that Mayer’s voice returned.

Link: Mayer’s Botox (Inquisitr)

The TBTS Movie Character Hall of Fame: Vic Fontaine

March 29, 2013

Ladies and Gentlemen, we’re very honored you could join us today; for today, we induct another member into a very prestigious Hall of Fame: the TBTS Movie Character Hall of Fame. There are many movies, with many characters. Sometimes a movie has more than one character (it’s true!), and sometimes a movie may not have any characters. The latter are generally unsuccessful, while the former continue to thrill us in our “movie chairs.”

Vic 1

If I may, I would like to follow Esquirette’s lead and induct another television character into the TBTS Movie Character Hall of Fame. I mean, good TV shows are kind of like movies, aren’t they? Just with more parts.

To begin, I present an excerpt from a previous review for Frank Sinatra’s Best of the Best (Deluxe Edition):

Star Trek: The Next Generation is not just my preferred Star Trek series, or simply a go-to Sci-Fi diversion, but my favorite show of any kind ever. As syndicated television tends to do, the station schedule went into the part of their rotation period where that program was shifted off the air temporarily, forcing me to go elsewhere to get some kind of placatory fix until my Enterprise crew of choice headed again to Farpoint Station. What I happened across in the interim was Deep Space Nine. Read more…