TBTS Reviews: The Avengers
Marvel’s The Avengers, brought to you courtesy of Joss Whedon’s genius brain, has already become the blockbuster of the summer, even though summer has not officially started yet. It smashed opening weekend records and continues making obscene amounts of money around the world. This is clearly the biggest film of 2012. And it could have so easily gone wrong.
I’m not a comic book fan. I didn’t know anything about these characters before watching the movies. All I knew of Iron Man was that Ozzy Osbourne had a song named after him, and all I knew of the Hulk was the cheesy 80s television show that I never actually watched. But, I have seen Iron Man and Iron Man 2, Thor, and Captain America, thanks to my über-geek husband, so I knew what was what going into The Avengers. As a non-fan watching a film created by and for the fanboys, I was actually quite impressed; I don’t think it could have been any more perfect. Spoilers below… Read more…
The Entertation Index: May 24
Blazonczyk, Eddie – Grammy-award winning artist and “Polka King” Eddie Blazonczyk passed away this week of natural causes at age 70 in Chicago. Our thoughts go out to his friends and family; we hear the funeral will be appropriately sad, but the wake’s gonna be an absolute blast.
Link: “Polka King” Dies at 70 (HuffPo)
DiCaprio, Leonardo — The National Enquirer reports that for the actor’s upcoming film, all starlets choosing to audition for roles must “come in wearing sexy clothes that show off their bodies” and anyone screentesting with DiCaprio must do so fully nude. Sure, that works for Mr. Big-Time Hotshot, but my Craigslist ad — offering the same thing — still has yet to yield any results.
Link: Leo DiCaprio has Definitely Figured Out this Whole Fame Thing (Celebslam)
Gatsby, The Great — Speaking of Leonardo DiCaprio, the first trailer for Baz Luhrmann’s ornate and big-budget 3-D screen adaptation of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby has finally hit the internet, featuring music by Kanye West and Jack White. I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t wait to see how Luhrmann handles the scene where Daisy and Gatsby escape on the chopper under a hail of bullets to the tune of Chris Brown’s “Turn the Music Up.”
Link: The Great Gatsby Trailer (People)
Lynn, Loretta — Although it’s believed — as recorded in country foremother Loretta Lynn’s famed book Coal Miner’s Daughter – that Lynn married longtime husband Oliver “Mooney” Lynn at age thirteen, new reports and official county records have come to light proving that the singer was indeed fifteen years old at the time of her nuptials. Whew, thank goodness this scandal has been cleared up. I think we can all agree it’s been weird, all this time, thinking that she was a mere fifth grader. Thank God she was a seventh grader.
Link: Report Says Lynn Was All of 15, Not 13, When She Married (NY Times)
Mayer, John — Guitar-strumming crooner John Mayer recently told late-night talk show host Jimmy Fallon that he recently wooed a lucky lady by singing a page from the kinky pop-culture phenomenon 50 Shades of Grey to her. Hold on. He’s using creepy, weird tactics to hook up with women? Hey everybody, John Mayer’s back!
Link: John mayer Used “50 Shades of Grey” to Impress a Woman (IMDB)
Snooki — The Jersey Shore star, who is currently a mother-to-be, has announced that she will not be a part of the show’s upcoming sixth season, with sources saying she’d rather not be surrounded by the boisterous roomies while in that delicate state. We now have the secret, America, and I think we all know what we have to do now: someone needs to get the Situation pregnant.
Link: Snooki – “I’m Evicting Myself from Jersey Shore House” (TMZ)
Your New Favorite Show: Ugly Americans
I’m so glad that funny, adult-oriented cartoons are still being made. Ugly Americans is about to start its third season on Comedy Central, but I’ve been watching the first season on Netflix and I’m already enamored with the show.
Ugly Americans is about Mark Lilly, a social worker in an alternate-universe New York where vampires, demons, zombies, and creatures of all sorts are commonplace. Mark is dedicated if a little harried. His co-worker is a 400-year-old wizard named Leonard who drinks on the job and not much else. Mark’s roommate, Randall, became a zombie in order to win the affection of a girl who later turned him down for a warlock. Randall is now unemployed and promiscuous, with very few limitations on what he’s willing to do to get laid, and who or what he’s willing to do it with. Callie is Mark’s half-demon girlfriend (and supervisor) with terrifying mood swings and a dangerous sex drive. Other characters include Twayne Boneraper, the demonic bureaucrat in charge of Mark’s department, and Frank Grimes, an overzealous immigration cop with a keen hatred of non-humans. Read more…
TBTS Reviews: Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk
The Iraq War has its first great novel. Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk, the debut novel by highly talented Texan Ben Fountain, spans one day in the lives of the eight men of Bravo Squad, survivors of the firefight at the Al-Ansakar Canal, caught on tape by an embedded Fox News crew and beamed to eager audiences at home, now war heroes at the end of a Pentagon-arranged “Victory Tour” at the height of the war, slated to be honored at the halftime show of the Dallas Cowboys game on Thanksgiving Day just a day before heading back to Iraq. In one day, nineteen-year-old Billy Lynn, Silver Star-decorated hero of the battle, encounters a dazzling variety of characters – adoring armchair patriots, the billionaire owner of the Cowboys, a Hollywood producer, a lusty born-again cheerleader, the Cowboys players, Destiny’s Child – and faces a terrible decision whose consequences will stay with him for the rest of his life no matter what he chooses. In just over three hundred pages, Ben Fountain illuminates the world of soldiers and the American way of war on both the home front and the battlefield with an inspired performance worthy of a major award.
Fountain’s literary career has been relatively short but remarkable. He has only one other book, the excellent story collection Brief Encounters with Che Guevara, but he has won the PEN/Hemingway Award, two Pushcart Prizes, an O. Henry prize, and a number of other awards. Once an attorney in Dallas, Fountain turned to fiction in pursuit of a dream. It’s fair to say he caught it. His hard work in pursuit of his craft comes through on every page. He’s an arresting stylist – throughout both Billy Lynn and Brief Encounters I found myself stopping to underline his deft phrasing and unexpectedly apt images. He can deliver short, powerful chops and he can go on long, dizzying runs with equal virtuosity. At first, maybe fifty, seventy-five pages into Billy Lynn – I hadn’t yet read Brief Encounters, or I’d probably have figured this out earlier - I thought Fountain promising, but by the time I finished I realized to call him that would be a clumsy understatement. Everywhere I turn in this book, I see the marks of a writer who has wasted no chance to perfect his craft and to hone his powers of observation to a finer edge than most writers could even approach. This isn’t potential, it’s mastery. To read Billy Lynn is to witness promise fulfilled.
Surprisingly, Fountain is not himself a veteran, but his portrayal of the Bravos is pitch-perfect, rich, deep, and often hilariously profane. For such a funny book – and you can’t miss the sharpness of Fountain’s sense of humor – its humor is applied with a surgeon’s care, cutting exactly where it needs to and nowhere else. This is not some gonzo send-up, nor is it even strictly a satire. This is, instead, a careful examination of how we live, how we fight, and who we are today. Billy Lynn revels in uncovering absurdities wherever it finds them, but it also sobers you, provokes you, makes you think deeper about who we have become and why. By the time you reach the jaw-dropping halftime show itself, one of the best payoffs I’ve seen in ages, you will be in stitches and you might also need them. Karl Marlantes calls it “the Catch-22 of the Iraq War”, and he’s neither wrong nor hyperbolic. I’ll reach back a bit further and say this: Mark Twain would have loved this book.
The Entertation Index: May 21
Bono – With his 2.3% stake in Facebook valued at about $1.5 billion after last week’s IPO, the U2 frontman became probably the richest musician on the planet. That should just about cover his losses on Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark.
Link: Bono’s Big Bank (MTV)
City 2, Sin – Director Robert Rodriguez has set a release date of 10/14/13 for his Sin City sequel, which will officially be called Frank Miller’s Sin City: A Dame To Kill For. A close second was Sin City: Jessica Alba’s Gyrations in Leather.
Link: Sin City Sequel (THR)
Halen, Van – Several of the classic rock band’s summer tour dates have been postponed without explanation. This means you may have to wait a little longer not to go see them.
Link: Halen Hold-Up (EW)
Smith, Will – A Ukrainian reporter got a backhand for attempting to kiss Smith during a Men In Black III promo event in Russia. The reporter explained that due to a translation error, he thought Smith was The Get-Fresh Prince.
Link: Smith Whomps A Fool (TMZ)
Strippers, Celebrity – Huffington Post lists several male celebrities who have “tried” stripping. My guess is they “tried” stripping the same way you “try” being an escort or “try” cocaine.
Link: Celeb Strippers (Huffington Post)
Seriously, you should see it. There’s probably a video on the internet somewhere.
Talents, Celebrity – In more celebrity stuff, Celebuzz has a list of celebrities with little-known talents. Did you know that Justin Bieber once solved a Rubik’s cube in 84 seconds, or that Kristen Stewart is a talented juggler? Also, we hear that Kim Kardashian can make an entire butternut squash disappear without using her hands.
Link: Celebrity Talents (Celebuzz)
TBTS Reviews: The Lucky One
As the only female contributor to The Brown Tweed Society, I feel it is my duty to report on all the icky girly things my fellow Tweedsters would like to ignore, like fashion and celebrity pregnancies and Nicholas Sparks books-turned-movies. My love of rom-coms and chick lit is no secret, so I don’t mind this duty, but at times it’s a heavy burden I bear. I am contractually obligated to watch every movie Zac Efron or Channing Tatum make, unless Jonah Hill is involved, which is where I draw the line. While I’m actually looking forward to the new Channing Tatum movie, I was less-than-enthused about seeing The Lucky One. And, it turns out, I had good reason. Read more…
Me vs. Whitney vs. 2 Broke Girls
Writer, Producer, Actor Whitney Cummings
I don’t, as a rule, jump on the hatewagon for sitcoms without giving them at least a few episodes to win me over. In fact, I can be very forgiving of a show’s peccadilloes once I get to know the characters and get a feel for what the writers are trying to accomplish. So, having watched a full season of Whitney and 2 Broke Girls, trust me when I say that one of them is actually a pretty good show. And it’s probably not the one you think. Read more…
The Monster Disappointment of Syfy’s Monster Man
I love horror movies. I love the great ones and the merely good ones. I love them when they’re bad and I especially love them when they’re terrible. My ideal evening consists of a rubber monster suit, a bucket of slime, and gallons of fake blood spraying everywhere. Seriously, though, my bedroom activities have no place here. Let’s talk about TV.
I watch a lot of SyFy Channel, mainly because they show some awesomely bad horror movies. Often, they’re of the sub-genre “Large, Mutated, Alien, or Swarm of Tiny Creatures Eating People,” which I hold very dear.
Most people don’t understand my adoration of rotten horror, especially once I really get going about Night of the Lepus. I’ll admit that it’s pretty difficult to explain a deep and abiding affection for this kind of trash. I can put into words why I’m into chainsaws clotted with gore, and half-shark, half-octopus creatures eating chicks in tiny bikinis, but I can’t convey the emotion. It’s impossible to bring someone over to this point of view. You either love this stuff or you don’t. Read more…
The Entertation Index: May 14
Disick, Scott – Kourtney Kardashian’s baby-daddy was taunted outside NYC restaurant Catch by a man who shouted, “Stop trying to be Armenian!” Unsure if this was an insult or not, Disick apparently defaulted to his “Shove” response that kicks in when confronted with ambiguous stimuli.
Link: Disick Taunted (NY Post)
Kimye – Sources say that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are dating seriously and may be discussing marriage. Industry insiders say that a Kim-Kanye union could last 2-3 Kardashians longer than her marriage to Kris Humphries.
Link: Kimye In the Works? (Us Magazine)
Manson, Marilyn – The goth-rocker says his new album Born Villain was partly inspired by the blame he received, rightly or wrongly, for the 1999 Columbine shootings. “I think that I have had more blame accredited to me than any person in the history of music,” Manson said. Depending on what the blame is for, though, Barry White might also have a claim to that title.
Link: Manson Most Blamed? (NME)
Perry, Katy – Over the July 4 holiday weekend, the flamboyant songstress will premiere her 3-D documentary Katy Perry: Part of Me. Lots of dudes are pumped about the 3-D parts of her, since the film was supposedly originally named Motorboating: The Katy Perry 3-D Experience.
Link: Perry’s Film (L.A. Times)
May cause flu-like symptoms.
Rihanna – The “Disturbia” singer returned to the spotlight for the premiere of her movie Battleship after battling what she said was “the flu.” After watching the film, moviegoers reported headaches, muscle pains from eye-rolling, and nausea, so maybe she was right.
Link: Rihanna Back for Debut (Daily Mail)
Situation, The – Jersey Shore cast member Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is being sued for $1 million by his former management company for breach of contract. The company says Sorrentino did not give them the requisite 30-day notice to resolve problems when he terminated them for “lack of performance.” It has to be really embarrassing to get fired by someone called The Situation for “lack of performance.”
Link: Sorrentino Sued (PopEater)
Shifting the Center of Gravity Towards England – Why “Party Animals” and “Whites” Will Be Your New Favo(u)rite Shows
One of the “secret” attributes of Hulu is the availability of British television programming. A few other writers have elaborated upon this relatively-unknown world of highly-entertaining half-hour sitcoms and hour-long dramas. I’ve already trumpeted the meaningless logos and ironic veneration of tyrants that is Peep Show, which is still available (at least the first 6 series) as of today. Thanks to the arcana of international copyright law, UK shows are not bound by the time/episode availability limits imposed upon US-based programming. Which means that both seasons of Spaced are there, just waiting for you to finally put a halt on your pointless browsing of The Guardian’s Politics page (that map of France’s presidential election, province by province, will not change, no matter how many times you hit F8). While I found Simon Pegg’s antics to be quite humourous, there are two shows that have risen above the Black Books, Misfits and Teachers of the world. Read more…
